


Sight & Touch

by valxenia (orphan_account)



Category: Prince of Stride: Alternative (Anime)
Genre: Angst, Comfort, Eventual Smut, M/M, Misunderstandings, Rating May Change, Warnings May Change, discontinued
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-01
Updated: 2016-08-08
Packaged: 2018-05-17 06:50:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,797
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5858623
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/valxenia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Riku never thought he'd be jealous of Takeru staring at someone else with that intense gaze of his.</p><p>That is until he actually saw him doing it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Sight

**Author's Note:**

> Oh ho ho, this one's gonna be a real treat.
> 
> The basic premise was inspired by my friend, Ryo, filling my twitter notifications with a scenario that both had me loving and screaming at him. This one's dedicated to you, bro. You did this to me.
> 
> I already have this fic outlined in my notebook, split up into three parts (therefore, three chapters). So, the problem won't be figuring out what to write, but finding time to actually sit down and do it - thanks, school, for being absolutely draining.
> 
> Again, apologies for anything that might seem out of character. As more episodes are released, I'll be able to solidify my writing of their personalities. (ᵔᴥᵔ)

The first time Takeru had stared at someone else, Riku hadn’t thought much of it. The second time, he had been a little unnerved, considering that Takeru’s stares at _him_ were becoming less and less frequent. It wasn’t that he particularly enjoyed having that intense stare on him all the time, but there was something about it that made him feel… Well, _special_.

He wasn’t sure why that was the case. He guessed he just felt better about himself knowing that Takeru saw him as a perfect fit for stride.

So when he caught him staring at someone else for the third time, a whole new feeling found itself burrowing under Riku’s skin. It made him bite the inside of his cheek and force himself to look away, pretending to be interested in whatever it was Ayumu was saying about shogi. But every now and then, out from the corner of his eye, he noticed Takeru silently fawning over Heath’s muscular figure with his sight alone.

Takeru was practically glued in place, his eyes trained on Heath and Heath only. Heath himself didn’t seem to notice, however; he was too busy stretching to prepare for a practice race against Hozumi. Ignorance was truly bliss.

 _Why won’t he look at me like that anymore…?_ was what Riku immediately thought. Just as the meaning of those words registered, his face grew red and hot with sheer embarrassment. It didn’t matter that he hadn’t spoken those words out loud. He had thought them, and that was enough to make him want to sprint home and dig himself a hole to die in.

“...Yagami? Are you even listening?” Ayumu suddenly asked. “You look...sick.”

Startled out of his panic, Riku tensed up and shook his head a little too quickly. “I’m fine, I’m fine! What were you saying?” he said, desperate to change the subject. “Something about shogi, right? Come on, tell me all about it!”

Ayumu blinked. “Uh, nevermind… You’re not usually this excited about shogi. It’s rather, uh, how do I say… Unsettling.”

What? How on earth was that - _what?!_

Desperation rising, Riku took Ayumu by the shoulders and stared him down. He needed anything to keep his mind focused off of staring at Takeru staring at someone else. “Don’t say that, Kadowaki! It’s just that, I… I discovered a new love for shogi, that’s all!” That would have to do, he figured. “Come on, I’m eager to learn, so tell me everything you know!” He subconsciously tightened his grip, causing poor, poor Ayumu to squirm and shrink back in fear. _“Everything!”_

“O-o-okay…!” Ayumu squeaked. This was a side of Riku he never thought he’d have to see. But if shogi was what Riku wanted to hear, then shogi he would tell him! “A-alright, well, let me start with the basics…”

Riku internally screamed. He had only wanted an excuse to keep himself distracted, but now that Ayumu had pretty much broken into a full on rant of shogi - something Riku _really_ didn’t care to know about - he was beginning to reconsider. Except, there was no room for reconsideration. He had been the one that compelled Ayumu to drag him deep into shogi hell, and dragged he would be, against his fickle will.

He didn’t even realize that Takeru’s gaze had shifted onto him.

 

* * *

 

It was an unusual thing for Riku to do: running and practicing his parkour skills on his own. Any other time, he would practice with the stride team, more specifically Takeru. Stride, after all, was a team effort, and a match never depended on the skills of just one person. It relied on everyone, it relied on the _team_.

But Riku, too lost in his thoughts, had considered little of what that meant when he wandered off to the courtyard by himself. He kept telling himself that he only needed some alone time to contemplate everything he was feeling, everything simply being the one word he refused to admit.

Jealousy.

 _I’m not jealous. I have no reason to be jealous… Right?_ were Riku’s thoughts as he successfully vaulted over obstacles on the practice course. He had become better at jumping, that’s for sure, but he still lacked the bit of cool, look-at-me-go flair for the aesthetic so many stride fans looked for. The issue was… Well, he wasn’t so sure on _how_ to be ‘cool’. He was kind of a dork, something that even he himself didn’t deny.

He came to a stop at the end of the course, hands on his knees as he slowly caught his breath. “Ha… Maybe Hasekura can teach me a thing or two about being cool…,” he mumbled. He suddenly remembered how Takeru had looked at Heath. “...He is pretty cool isn’t he… Guess no one can help but stare a little...”

An unbearably hot sensation pooled in his stomach, far more uncomfortable than anything else had felt before. He firmly pressed his lips together and tried to push that scene - that memory he wished he could forget - out of his head once and for all. But it insisted on staying. He couldn’t ignore that image of Takeru’s eyes on somebody else.

Why did it make him feel so awful?

“Yagami? What are you doing out here by yourself?”

With a gasp, Riku sharply turned around to see Nana, her head tilted to the side as she stared at him worriedly. “Oh, Miss Sakurai, it’s just you…,” he said, secretly relieved. “...I’m just practicing for a bit.”

“All alone?” Nana asked. “Fujiwara didn’t want to today?”

The fact that everyone was so used to seeing Riku and Takeru together made it much harder for Riku to come up with an excuse. Nana was nice and all, and he could definitely say that he trusted her, but he wasn’t prepared to talk about things that even he was unsure about. “No, I… I just didn’t want to bother him,” Riku said.

Nana frowned a little. Riku hoped to God that she wouldn’t immediately see through his lie and confront him about it. She didn’t seem like the confrontational type, but considering she was devoted to keeping the team together, she placed it upon herself to make sure every member got along with one another. That meant playing the mediator if she had to.

“...Oh,” she said after a moment of silence, much to Riku’s relief. Even if Nana was aware of the lie, he was eternally grateful to her that she chose not to question it. “I see... Well, good luck with your training,” she added, smiling softly. “Try not to overwork yourself, okay?”

Riku smiled back and gave her a thumbs up. “I won’t, don’t worry. Thank you, Miss Sakurai.”

As he watched her disappear back into the school building, no doubt to check up on the rest of the team, Riku hoped that no one else would notice how strange it was that he was without Takeru. He really didn’t want to worry the other members, and more importantly, he didn’t want Takeru to catch onto the fact that he was pretty much avoiding him.

It wasn’t like he wanted to avoid him, though. He just couldn’t help feeling unusually self-conscious and embarrassed about himself every time he met eyes with Takeru, especially now that it seemed like Riku’s figure wasn’t the only one he admired.

“...I mean, yeah, I’m not the only one, but…,” Riku mused to himself, not caring that he was speaking his thoughts out loud. He was alone now, anyway. All by himself, in the courtyard lit up by the afternoon sun, with no Takeru to wordlessly encourage him through training.

Realizing that made him feel...empty.

 

* * *

 

“Kohinata… Have you noticed that...Yagami’s been acting, well, strange?”

“If by strange you mean suddenly caring about Kadowaki’s shogi, then, yes, he probably hit his head really hard on something.”

“No, I mean… He’s been practicing after school without Takeru for the past three days. Every time I ask him about it, he just says that Takeru looks busy and that he doesn’t want to bother him.”

“...Ha. That’s a lie.”

“I know, but… I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to force him to talk about it or anything, but I don’t want to stand around doing nothing when there’s something going on between them.”

Hozumi glanced up from his phone to see Nana staring out the window, a downcast expression on her face. “...I haven’t noticed anything off about Fujiwara, so it’s probably just something on Yagami’s end,” he said. “I wouldn’t place too much stress on myself if I were you, though. Knowing Yagami, he probably just doesn’t want to worry any of us.”

Nana sighed, turning to face him. “That does seem like him… But what if this affects the team?”

“Then we’ll figure it out together, all of us,” Hozumi assured her with a warm smile. “That’s what teams are for, right?”

Nana offered a weak smile in return, choosing to trust in Hozumi’s words. “Yeah… I just hope all of this can be worked out before the next match.”

“Yeah, I do too…,” Hozumi mumbled, before suddenly letting out a chuckle. “If not, we’ll just have to beat the sense into them.”

“ _Kohinata!_ ”

“I’m just kidding, I’m just kidding!”

Beyond the club doors, Takeru sighed deeply and made way for the courtyard. He hadn’t intended to overhear the conversation, but now that he knew that he wasn’t the only one who thought Riku was acting strange, he felt obligated to do something about it. Quickly, he strode through the empty school halls and came to a stop before the courtyard doors, taking a moment to listen to the sound of Riku’s running feet against the ground outside.

Takeru pushed the doors open without another thought, startling Riku mid-sprint as their eyes temporarily met. “F-Fujiwara…!” Riku cried out, stumbling and falling flat onto his face with a loud smack. He groaned loudly, taking no time to start loathing himself for accidentally looking like a fool in front of the one whose admiration he desired so greatly.

“Are you okay?” Takeru asked, suddenly by his side and offering his hand to help him up. “Do you need to go to the nurse’s office?”

“No, no, I’m fine, I promise…,” Riku muttered. He reluctantly took Takeru’s hand and staggered to his feet, keeping his head bowed out of embarrassment. “You spooked me there.”

“I’m sorry.”

“No, it’s okay, I should’ve been more alert.”

“...Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine. I mean, my face kind of hurts, but -”

“That’s not what I was referring to.”

The unexpected firmness in Takeru’s voice was enough to make Riku finally look up at him, bearing witness to that intense gaze of his that had Riku’s skin tingling. It was so easy to lose himself within those cold, yet warm, blue eyes, always so full of the emotion that Takeru didn’t express. Many times, they displayed fascination and reverence, two things that Riku enjoyed more than he would ever care to admit. He liked having those eyes on him. He liked knowing that Takeru was looking at him, and only him, because it made him feel like he was worth something.

Riku never thought that a single pair of eyes could affect him like Takeru’s did.

“Are you okay?” Takeru repeated, breaking Riku out of his trance.

“What… What are you talking about?” Riku said. He tried to look away, but those eyes were making him feel such warm, fuzzy things that he just couldn’t. He couldn’t pry himself away from Takeru’s gaze even if his life depended on it.

“You’ve been acting strange,” Takeru said. “The team is worried.”

Shoot. That was the last thing Riku wanted to do: worry the team. “How have I been acting strange?” Riku asked, as if he didn’t know the answer. He knew _perfectly_ well.

“You’ve been isolating yourself.”

“No I haven’t.”

“Yes you have.”

“No -”

“Then why haven’t you been asking me to practice with you?”

Riku fell silent.

“Yagami. Why haven’t you been -”

“I have to go.”

“What?”

“I just remembered I have to go home. Errands. My mom gets pissed off if I don’t do her errands so I really gotta go.”

“What errands -”

Riku was already halfway into the school before Takeru could even finish his sentence, leaving him stranded as Riku internally screamed at himself. _Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!_ As soon as he barreled into the locker room, he tore off his gym clothes and threw on his school uniform, hoping to God that Takeru would not catch him.

And then he ran.

 

* * *

 

_I’m literally the worst friend how can I just interrupt and leave him like that oh my God I am such an asshole I can’t believe I did that he must really hate me right now!! Holy fuck I even hate myself like!! Why did I do that?! Am I fucking stupid?!_

Riku rolled onto his stomach with a groan, screaming into his pillow as he painfully recalled what had happened not too long ago. He had pretty much ditched Takeru mid-sentence, all because of his own cowardice. He couldn’t help but feel that he had effectively worsened a situation that could have easily been solved if Riku wasn’t so damn insecure about himself.

“He hates me,” he groaned out loud. “He really hates me now.” At that moment, the distinct ping of a text being received caught his attention. He dove for his phone and nearly screamed when he saw that it was none other than Takeru who had sent the message. “I bet he’s gonna tell me off for being such an -”

_-Did you finish your errands?_

Huh?

Riku couldn’t believe his eyes. There was no way that Takeru wasn’t mad at him, unless he was just trying to make Riku feel safe so he could tear his throat out. You know, like a predator cornering its prey.

- _yeah, I did… look I’m rly sorry for running off I’m such an ass_

_-You don’t have to apologize for having to run errands. I know mothers can be scary._

_-but u were in the middle of asking me smth and I just interrupted u_

_-We can talk about it later._

_-are u sure_

_-Yes. All that matters to me is that you’re okay and not getting yelled at._

_-oh_

_-Do what’s best for you. I promise I’m not upset at you or anything._

_-ok that’s such a relief I would feel so awful if I pissed u off_

_-You’re too much of an important friend for me to get angry at so easily._

It felt like Riku’s heart was about to burst out of his chest and start performing various leaps and tosses in the air. Hell, he was sure it would even be able to go out and win twenty stride matches.

_-I have to go now. I’ll see you at school tomorrow._

_-ok… see ya_

_-Later._

Gently setting his phone onto his bedside table, Riku promptly threw his face back into his pillow and screamed again, this time out of joy. He had no idea how mere texts from Takeru could make him so ridiculously happy within seconds. It was as if the dark grey cloud hanging above his head was ousted by the shining ray of light that was Takeru.

Although Takeru seemed serious and gloomy to others, to Riku, he was a bright star that illuminated the dark insecurities of his life. Such a cheesy comparison had him smiling stupidly into his pillow, his thoughts full of nothing but Takeru.

Gradually, he fell asleep.

 

* * *

 

_Warm, strong hands caressed his face, bringing him closer and closer to lips he could never stop staring at. He gave in with a sweet sigh, his body racing with heat and his heart beating loud enough for him to hear. It was such a beautiful moment, a beautiful feeling. He couldn’t stop his hands from running up and down the arms that held him so tenderly. They provided him with warmth and comfort and the assurance that he was safe._

_Lips met again and again, his heart racing faster each time. Those hands traveled down to his waist, holding him tighter, closer, until he could remember no other touch. He trembled slightly. Such adoration made his knees feel weak, but he was not afraid of falling. He knew those arms would hold him up and never let him fall._

_At last, he pulled away, his body on fire and his eyes clouded with love. He looked up to meet his lover’s eyes and found deep blue eyes staring back at him. Only one name came to his mind._

_“Takeru.”_

Riku screamed.

He unceremoniously fell from the bed, landing with such a loud bang that it only took his mother a mere second to bust through the door, alarm all over her face while she threateningly held out a spoon. “...Oh, sweetie, are you okay?!” She dropped the spoon and ran to her son’s side, helping him up and quickly running her hands over his face to check for any sign of injury.

“I-I’m fine, Mom, I’m fine,” Riku insisted. His face was hot - unbearably hot.

“But you screamed and fell! ...Oh no, are you running a fever? Your face is too warm!”

“No…! I just… I had an intense dream, that’s all!”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“NO!” Riku said a little too forcefully. “I mean…! No… No thanks.”

His mother raised a brow. “Are you sure…?”

“Yes, yes, Mom, I’m sure,” Riku said, nodding repeatedly.

“...Hm, well, if you say so… You know where to find me in case you need anything.”

“Yeah, thanks, Mom…” Riku glanced away, too embarrassed by his dream to look anyone - including his mother - in the eye. He allowed a small smile, however, when he felt her press a gentle kiss against his forehead, and watched her leave with his mind weighing many things. Why did he dream about kissing his best friend like that? Better yet, why did it seem like he had enjoyed it?

Shaking his head, Riku clambered back onto his bed and stared menacingly at his phone. Part of him felt like messaging Takeru about it, while the other called him crazy and told him to just pretend the dream had never happened. But how could he do that? How could he forget a dream as scandalous as that?

“Do I...like Takeru?” Riku asked himself, staring up at the ceiling as he contemplated everything he had with his dearest friend. “I mean, yeah, duh, I like him, but I do like like him…?” He groaned and buried his face into his hands. _Is that why I’ve become so self-conscious? Because I like him like that?_

It was certainly a possibility.

He fell back onto the bed and tried to imagine Takeru’s reaction. There was a high chance that he would reject him gently, because that was just Takeru’s way. He wasn’t the aggressive or domineering type, and he never added unnecessary drama to a situation. He was just...simple. The only thing that could really rile him up was stride.

Oh, and Reiji. Takeru always appeared calm around Reiji, but Riku knew that there was a roaring hurricane inside of him every time anyone so much as mentioned the Saisei heartthrob.

Riku laughed softly. He knew Takeru well, better than anyone else did, actually. Knowing that made him happy, and somewhat prideful, but even so, he wanted to know even more about him. He wanted to know what Takeru was like in every shape and form. He wanted to know what he was like at a water park, or on a roller coaster, or even swimming with dolphins. Would he get scared in a haunted house? Would he be the type to ride a camel for the shits and giggles? Would he enjoy memes?

If there was one thing Riku knew for certain now, is that he wanted to stay by Takeru.

He was done running away.

 

* * *

 

Riku glared at his math homework, taunted by the various symbols and numbers that appeared to mock him. He was leaning against Takeru, who fortunately didn’t mind him being clingy all of the sudden. “Hey, Fujiwara, what did you get for 4?”

“27.”

“...What? I got 118.”

Ayumu cleared his throat and smirked. “Let me take a look at that.”

Riku frowned, clearly aware of where this was going, but handed Ayumu the notebook anyway. What Mr. Photosynthesis lacked in stride skill, he made up for it with his good grades and math wizardry. “...So, what’s the answer?” Riku asked.

“You’re both wrong. It’s 14,” Ayumu replied rather haughtily.

Takeru silently closed his notebook and put it away. He was done for the day.

“How the… How did you get 14?!” Riku cried out, snatching back the notebook and intensely going over his work. Just where did he go wrong?! Fuck math, it makes no sense!

“See, this is where you went wrong.” Ayumu pointed.

“...You’re just pointing at the problem number.”

“Yes, because you went wrong on the whole thing.”

“Gee. Thanks.”

“No problem at all! I offer math tutoring after school and club activities for just three-thousand Yen an hour -”

“I’m not paying you for tutoring.”

“Are you sure? I can offer a fifty percent -”

“No thanks.”

“Oh, come on, your grades could surely -”

“Kadowaki, stop harassing the underclassmen.” The three boys looked up to see Heath walking into the club room, accompanied by Hozumi. Both of them were sweaty and in their gym clothes, no doubt having just finished up yet another practice race against each other. “...Where’s Sakurai?”

Riku raised his hand. “She’s helping the nurse organize some files.”

“How much longer until she gets back?”

“I don’t know. She said it would only take her about twenty minutes,” Riku said with a shrug. “Why, did something happen?”

Heath shook his head, wiping some sweat from his face with the towel around his neck. “No. I just wanted to discuss when our next meeting should be.”

“There’s a couple of community stride matches we can participate in,” Hozumi added. “Sure, they’re nothing big, but they’re good preparation for the big races.”

Riku glanced to the side to see Takeru’s eyes shining like jewels. “...Sounds cool,” he said with a smile, amused by his friend’s quick reaction. He was about to tease him just a teeny bit, until Takeru suddenly shifted his gaze onto him. Riku immediately felt his entire body tense up. He couldn’t deny, however, how much he liked having that stare on him again.

And then Takeru had the gall to say, “I get to see you run again.”

Oh. Oh boy. Oh boy oh boy oh boy. The thoughts running through Riku’s mind were endless, especially when he was sure that Takeru had leaned in a little closer. He didn’t care that everyone else was there in the room, not when he finally had the attention he so desperately craved from Takeru. It made his heart beat so loud and so fast that he was sure Takeru could hear it.

“Are you running a fever?” Takeru asked.

Riku’s heart stopped. “...Huh?”

“Your face. It’s all red.”

Fuck fuck fuck! “Oh! No! It’s just… It’s really hot in this room,” Riku quickly insisted, pulling at his collar and fanning himself with one hand. His heart was beating fast again, this time out of pure, utter panic.

“Really?” Ayumu questioned. “The air conditioning is on.”

“Oh no, maybe Yagami _is_ getting sick!” Hozumi cried out.

Lovesick, more than likely. “Noo, I’m fine, I swear!”

“Still, it would be best if you took some medicine when you go home today,” Heath advised. “Sometimes body temperature can predict sickness before we can.”

“I, uh… I guess you’re right,” Riku said, choosing to admit defeat. Besides, he realized it would be better to have everyone believe he was getting sick, and not actually just blushing every time Takeru said something that made his heart parkour in his chest. He didn’t want anyone thinking he was crushing on Takeru, even though, fuck it, he really was.

One glance at Hozumi’s small smirk, however, revealed that maybe one person had already concluded that.

 _Please don’t say anything,_ Riku pleaded through his eyes.

As if on cue, Nana suddenly burst through the club doors. “I’m sorry I’m late!” She looked completely out of breath, the poor thing.

“Don’t worry, it’s fine. Yagami told us where you were,” Heath assured her. He gestured to the couch. “Have a seat. We’re just about to discuss what community matches we should sign up for.”

“Oh, before we do that, can I show you guys something?” Pulling out her phone, Nana tapped away at the screen while everyone gathered around her. “I was watching some matches last night and found this one…” She glanced up at Riku and smiled. “Your brother’s in it.”

Riku froze.

“No way!” Ayumu said in amazement. “Play it, play it!”

Just like that, in a few simple moments, Riku’s peace crumbled. The focus was no longer on him, but rather on his brother instead. It didn’t surprise him, though. Whenever it came to his brother, the attention was practically thrown at him. No one bothered to pay the slightest mind to Riku when he had the amazingly talented Tomoe Yagami to overshadow him, something that by now, Riku was used to. He was used to people taking one look at his surname and immediately asking if Tomoe was his brother.

What he wasn’t used to was seeing Takeru more mesmerized than ever before.

It hurt. It hurt so much that Riku became deaf to everyone around him. It hurt so much that he felt sick to his stomach and had every urge to run away and never return. His resolve from the night before was gone, as if it had never been there at all.

“Wow, look at him go!”

“He’s amazing!”

“He makes it look so easy…”

Riku suddenly stumbled, whipping everyone’s attention back to him. “Are you okay?!” Nana exclaimed in alarm.

“I just… I… I feel nauseous… I’m gonna… I’m gonna go home now, sorry…,” Riku mumbled, rubbing at his head. Of course he would get dizzy, too. “I just… Really don’t feel good… I must’ve… Ate something bad…”

“I’ll take you home,” Takeru said. Riku sharply looked up at him, ready to protest, but Takeru simply held up his hand to silence him. “You’re clearly uncoordinated.”

Riku bowed his head. “I’m sorry…”

“There’s no need to apologize. Come on. Grab your things.”

And so he let Takeru escort him home, paranoid that pushing him away would only make the truth obvious. Riku could not let Takeru discover, under any circumstances, that it was him who affected him so easily. He didn’t want it to affect their friendship. He didn’t want to lose Takeru because of some flighty whims.

“...Hey, we’re here.”

Riku looked up from staring at the sidewalk. Takeru was staring at him, the worry clear in his eyes despite the rest of his composed expression. “Oh. Thanks,” Riku muttered. “Again, I’m sorry.”

“Again, it’s okay,” Takeru assured him. He lightly ruffled his hair. “Feel better, alright?”

“Yeah…”

“See you tomorrow.”

“...Yeah…”

 

* * *

 

_“Riku, I’m home.”_

_“Please leave.”_

_“But why? Don’t you miss your brother?”_

_“Please, just… Please leave.”_

_“Come on. Your friend Fujiwara really wants to hang out. Why not join us?”_

_“No, he… He’s not your friend. Stay away from him!”_

_“But why? He admires me so much.”_

_“Stop!”_

_“Maybe even more than he admires you.”_

_“STOP!”_

_“Oh, Riku, you should see the look on your face. You’re crying. Does Fujiwara choosing me over you really hurt that much?”_

_“PLEASE!”_

_“It’s all your fault, you know. If only you weren’t so insecure… Maybe… Maybe he’d even love you. Wouldn’t that be nice?”_

_“P-PLEASE, JUST GO!”_

_“Alright, alright, I’ll go… And I’ll take Fujiwara with me.”_

_“NO!”_

Riku woke up sobbing. He quickly sat up and hugged himself, trembling and shaking as he tried to will the nightmare away. Takeru wasn’t gone. He wouldn’t leave him, either. There was no way that Takeru could ever leave him like that, right? _Right?_

He glanced at the small picture frame on his desk. Although it was dark in his room, he could remember the photo as clear as day. It was of him and his brother, just a few years ago, smiling at the camera with their arms around each other’s shoulders like the best of friends. Riku didn’t hate Tomoe, and he knew that Tomoe would never, ever hurt his little brother like that. The Tomoe in his nightmare was not Tomoe at all.

It was simply his own insecurity.

But even knowing that didn’t stop the throbbing pain in his heart. He fell back onto his bed and hugged his pillow closely, allowing himself to imagine that it was Takeru. “Don’t go…,” he sobbed. “Please, don’t ever go…” He pictured Takeru holding him and running his fingers through his hair, assuring him that yeah, he wouldn’t leave him. He could feel Takeru’s warmth surround his body, making him feel safe and loved and most of all, cherished.

He wanted to believe that the real Takeru would never leave him. He really did.

If only his insecurities would let him.

 

* * *

 

“Miss Sakurai, you called for me?”

Riku found Nana by herself in the hallway, hands neatly folded behind her back. She turned from the window she was looking through and greeted him with a smile. “Ah, yes. Sorry for bothering you.”

“Nah, it’s fine… What’s up?”

“Well…” She nervously pressed her toes together. “...Is everything okay? You left really unexpectedly yesterday and today you looked really pale. Are you eating and sleeping properly?” She paused. “Sorry if I sound like a bossy mom, it’s just that the team and I are worried.”

Riku bit his lip. He was trying his hardest to not worry the team this time, but it was apparent that he still couldn’t pull that off. Even so, he could not reveal the truth. “...I’m fine, don’t worry,” he said, offering a small smile. “In fact, seeing that video yesterday inspired me to become even better.” It wasn’t a complete lie. While he did want to perform better, it wasn’t the video that had inspired him.

If he could even call the moment ‘inspiration’.

“Oh, really?” Nana asked. She wasn’t expecting that at all.

“Yeah! Think you can email me any others you have? Preferably with my brother in them,” Riku said as earnestly as possible. “They can help me practice new moves and stuff.”

Nana blinked. “...Are you sure?”

“Yep!” Riku grinned, but inside he felt himself stagger.

“Oh, well, sure! I can email them tonight.”

“Great! Thanks so much, Miss Sakurai!”

Nana giggled, despite her true worries about what Riku was planning to do. She had asked to speak with him privately for the purpose of helping him through whatever he was going through, but now she felt that she had done more harm than good. “Ah, you’re very welcome!” But she couldn’t push Riku to confess anything any further. She didn’t want to risk his trust.

She only hoped, from the bottom of her heart, that he knew what he was doing.

 

* * *

 

Riku began spending his afternoons at home trying to emulate Tomoe’s style.

_-Yagami, hey._

_-Are you there?_

_-Did you fall asleep?_

He spent what felt like countless hours watching the videos Nana had emailed him, his eyes never missing a single detail in Tomoe’s movement.

_-You’re probably busy, but… I hope you’re doing well._

Never again would he allow himself to be insecure. Never again would he have to live in his brother’s shadow. He just wanted to be himself, Riku Yagami, not Riku, the younger brother of the great Tomoe Yagami.

_-oh hey Fujiwara sorry I was training_

_-...Training? For what?_

_-the community matches, duh_

_-We’re already training with the club for that._

_-yeah but I’m just trying out new things maybe they can work out for me_

_-New things such as…?_

_-oh just a few of the tricks my brother did_

_-...I see._

_-yeah! well my break is over so I’ll talk to u later_

_-Alright…_

_-see ya!_

_-See ya...._

Takeru frowned at his phone. Something wasn’t right.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> N/A


	2. AUTHOR'S NOTE: Apology and Explanation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is long overdue.

Hello, readers of this fic. I'm sorry if you looked at your notifications today and saw an update to this fic, expecting to find the long-awaited second chapter. I'm afraid that shortly after posting chapter one, I hit a bit of a slump in my writing, and coupled up with the stress I was facing upon the end of my junior year, I completely neglected this fic. Before long, I found myself losing motivation and passion entirely. I grew pessimistic about my writing - a result of being hard on myself and the fear that I'm not living up to my potential - and saw no use in updating this fic. However, I admit I could have then written this note sooner, but this nagging voice in my head kept telling me that I'd overcome my self-inflicted obstacles and finish writing this.

But it never came.

Trust me, I was working on chapter two for quite some time, and ended up with a grand portion of it done. I'm even willing to share what I have done with all of you, if that is what you desire. That's my way of making up for not actually completing it, by sharing what I did manage to write before it all died on me.

Moving through fandoms hasn't helped either. I'm more heavily invested in Voltron: Legendary Defender now, and if motive is willing, I might end up writing for that instead (and learn that maybe I shouldn't dive into committed projects too quickly). I've also become occupied by my original content, which I might share here as well.

Before I end this note, I want to say thank you to everyone who subscribed to my fics, everyone who read them and enjoyed them. I want to say thank you to those who wrote comments - all of which were so nice and really something I held dear to me - and I want to apologize for letting you down. I really am sorry. I really wish I could find the desire to finish at least just chapter two, but I'm afraid it'll just come out all wrong and not the way it should have been.

So, thank you and I'm sorry.

-Valencia

P.S. If you would like to have the doc to this fic, and see what progress I had on chapter two, please message me and I will provide the link to you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ignore this note; for some reason the note on the first chapter is copying onto here.

**Author's Note:**

> Expect the second part sometime next week!
> 
> Again, feedback is greatly appreciated! I personally feel that I paced this a little too quickly, but I'd like to hear what others think.
> 
> Also, feel free to follow me on [Twitter!](https://twitter.com/valxenia)


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